Living Life on Purpose

There is a story about a landowner who had a hard time securing and keeping good workers. So, he was surprised, delighted and more than a little sceptical when, after a day of trial work, a young man tilled several more rows than anyone else he had every employed. To ensure this productivity wasn’t just a fluke, he asked the chap to spend the next day picking beans. Again, the young fellow was astoundingly efficient, and seemingly happy, too. So, the landowner asked him to separate the stone-fruit harvest into small, medium and large categories. At the end of the day, the trial worker once again proved himself more than capable, so the landowner decided to offer him permanent employment. You might imagine the landowner’s shock when the young man turned away in derision and said, “you can have your job. I don’t mind tilling earth or picking beans, but having to discern which fruit to put in which bin,” exclaiming with a shake of his head, “well . . . “

It turns out that, for many of us, deciding what to do is often difficult, even daunting. Stymied by doubt, overwhelm, or uncertainty, perhaps immobilized by some underlying claustrophobia or a primal fear of reprimand . . . Maybe simple procrastination due to __? I’ve noticed that my own tendency is to tie myself up in knots sorting through principles, beliefs and selfish and selfless repercussions, somewhat irrespective of the magnitude of the decision.

What I’ve come to understand (and sometimes actually remember) is that when we don’t consciously make a discernment or decision, by default we make one unconsciously.

Deciding by default seems like a sad way to live life.

Philosophers, the world’s spiritual traditions, and yes, yoga, have something to say about this weighty subject, discernment.

The pieces of yoga and the set of other wisdom traditions with which I have resonated over the years have come into a loosely woven set of guidelines for me. It isn’t about thinking, fixing, making things happen according to expectations or even admirable principles; rather, it centres on becoming harmonious with the larger Mystery.

. . . it centres on becoming harmonious with the larger Mystery

First, become present, adopt a contemplative stance an abiding disposition, drop all but pure perceiving, be lovingly attentive in and as This. I have come to understand this way of being as the “interior freedom” of which St. Ignatius of Loyola wrote and spoke.

Secondly, in each moment, feel or sense into the appropriate response.

Then, enact that response.

Rinse and repeat.

Sounds simple? It is. And yet, each of these steps is ripe with nuance and potential obstacle. Undertaking them might require some resolve. It might require on-going study. It might require guidance. It might require course corrections, comparing notes with others who are similarly motivated. It might require honesty, modesty, grandiosity, courage, meekness, insert endless stream of qualities here, depending on the demands of the unknowable aggregate of factors coming together in the moment. It is awe-inspiring, really . . .

This way of approaching life, in my humble opinion, is the purpose of our yoga practice, including yoga āsana or postures.

Having a hard time deciding or acting? Feeling like you just can’t win? Noticing the burden of or your own or others’ expectations? If for nothing else, I’d like to encourage you to come to your yoga mat or practice yoga-in-the-moment, for the simple reason to practice living each moment on purpose, in harmony with and as this wondrous Essence, Mystery . . . that which is beyond name. If not now, when?

Arrive. This moment. And this. And this. And this . . .

Permanent link to this article: https://yoginsight.com/living-life-on-purpose/

David McAmmond Passes

My most influential teacher (slightly edited from original posted on Sept 30, 2021)

2006 –
me demonstrating a safe form of halasana
with David McAmmond’s guidance

David was my teacher from 1998, quietly there whenever I decided to practice with him.

His dear friend and collaborator, Anita Sielecki, kept some of us informed as he recovered from June’s open-heart surgery for problematic valves and other issues surgeons discovered during the procedure. He hadn’t been sleeping well when I saw him at the beginning of an on-line gentle yoga and meditation retreat he co-led with Kavindu Alejandro Velasco in July. Lo and behold, two days into the retreat, he was sleeping normally again! it seems that sharing yoga sustained him. Or rather, sharing yoga, his lovely wife, Tu, and riding his bicycle, which he had resumed ardently.

As a matter of fact, David led an in-person retreat in Edmonton just this past weekend. For a variety of reasons I didn’t attend. However, I imagined the practice room and my long-time yoga friends many times over the course of those days. Even now I hear the words, see the movements, feel the energy of being there. I probably had been on seventy to eighty different retreats and workshops with David over the time I knew him. Osmosis happens. I can’t help but be informed and influenced by his simple presence.

There’s much to be said about this man who , while not a saint, was remarkable in so many ways. A couple of years ago the YAA asked me to write an article about David. Here’s a link to The Bridge; the article starts on pg 29.

Image of the beginning of my 2019 article about David, published in the Yoga Bridge

Although I know in my bones that David’s passing marks a time of huge transition, I am not sad. I feel satisfied with the time I spent with him and believe that he shared what he was meant to share in all the right ways and places.

Jai! Om shanti, teacher.

Permanent link to this article: https://yoginsight.com/david-mcammond-passes/

Coming to Trust Your Inner Wisdom

Most people will face at least one time when everything they depend upon either falls short or is irreversibly altered.

Consider for a moment the assumptions we have about institutions, social mores, job, family, beliefs, and varied personal capabilities. Is it not the case that we rely on these seemingly steadfast constructs to guide our way, to help us make decisions, and to provide a sense of ground and security?

While some of us may have been attuned to the inconstant nature of life, this time of COVID has forced virtually everyone to question what previously was taken for granted.

I am reminded of the end of my father’s life. Dad was known to be agile, powerful, and bright, an avid puzzle-solver who was a champion Scrabble player, crossword afficionado and Sudoko wizard. He especially loved to play golf, often venturing out in bad weather to play 36 holes by himself.

We knew something had gone awry when, at age 70, Dad suddenly started to take wrong turns, drop items for no reason, and struggle with signing his name. The medical people thought he had dementia. That he was having intense headaches made them examine further, leading to an eventual diagnosis of extensive cancer that had metastasized to his brain. His prognosis was grim.

In the short term, heavy-duty steroids and painkillers miraculously restored some of Dad’s previous abilities. But over a couple short months, everything by which my father could be defined was taken away from him. He was reduced to a barely-functioning mind in a failing body.

Dad had always been a jovial and caring fellow who worried but kept his concerns to himself. Despite his rigorous Catholic upbringing, most would not have considered him to be a spiritual person. I was taken aback, therefore, by his answer when asked what advice he had now that he was at the end of his life. He responded, “Be kind to everyone,” and with an arresting look in his eyes, he emphasized, “and I mean EVERYONE.” I couldn’t help but feel that he had tapped into the unity of the universe. His simple response restored my faith in the goodness of the Essence from which we all arise, in which we all live and to which we all return.

“Be kind to everyone,” and with an arresting look in his eyes, he emphasized, “and I mean EVERYONE.”

Yoga often brings to mind pretzel-like poses performed by lithe and serene-looking people. But, in my estimation, it really is about remembering who we truly are and to more and more rest in this truth . Formal practices and spontaneous life events can precipitate and encourage abiding in such recognition. Grace lands and enlightens even, and sometimes especially, in the darkest and most dire circumstances.

What do you know to be true when all has been stripped away, when you drop agenda and simply rest in BE-ing? Might you ask yourself this at every possible moment?

Permanent link to this article: https://yoginsight.com/coming-to-trust-your-inner-wisdom/

When Life Gives You Lemons . . .

. . . make lemonade.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Live and let live. Or, live and let die.

Neurons that fire together wire together.

Do you live by slogans? I tried these popular words of wisdom on for awhile, a few times. I still catch slogans landing in my thoughts, as if by rote. I suspect we all depend upon these catchy sayings to a certain extent. They can get us through difficulties, help us to maintain focus on something-other-than-default way of being.

Those of you who are members of Twelve-Step groups may recognize that slogans are significant tools in those programs. Over time, through involvement in one such group, I discovered that I had to switch from one slogan to another to another as circumstances shifted. In the final analysis, I realized that, individually, slogans do not stand the test of change. Even used together, they are too simplistic to serve as reliable guides through the complexity of life.

Essentially, slogans are encapsulated beliefs.

Essentially, slogans are encapsulated beliefs. Beliefs are enduring “statements of ‘fact'” that we take to be true. When we believe something is stable, we cling to it as foundation, as reliable.

Then there are times in life when everything falls out from under us, times that are especially challenging occur when our beloved beliefs related to how life should be, how events should unfold, are called into direct question.

. . . there are times in life when everything falls out from under us.

We are facing, collectively, such a time, precisely and to a degree not likely to be seen again in our lifetime. What are we to do?

Transformation

When we perceive everything we encounter as grace, as gift, all beliefs are potentially true. The paradigm gets turned on its head, and beliefs become pointers or messengers that remind us of the Great Mystery – the one truth on which we can rely.

How do we shift our perception to “see” this way? Some call this pure perceiving the contemplative stance, others, “Interior Freedom,” yet others, “Presence.”

. . . an almost-childlike willingness to experience life first-hand . . .

Integrative Restoration (iRest)(R) provides an empirically-validated, modern, Westernized framework for nourishing this way of approaching all of life, including welcoming challenging material. You might consider the first step to be an almost-childlike willingness to experience life first-hand, fresh in each moment.

From time to time I offer experiential sessions, teaching sessions, and one-on-one co-meditation employing iRest principles. Join my mailing list to find out when these events are happening.

Permanent link to this article: https://yoginsight.com/when-life-gives-you-lemons/

The Unlikely, Yet Actual Gift, of On-line, Interactive, Live Yoga

HeIlo, friends. It’s been awhile. I have held you in my heart, regardless.

My hope is that you are finding your way through this crazy, confusing, confounding time. Perhaps you have even found some gift in all of it. I know some people have had significant additional challenges to navigate in the midst of it. No two people’s experience will have been the same.

I do know that the practices and attitudes that I have cultivated over the last four decades have held me in good stead. It may be unbelievable, but I have felt largely at ease during the last six months, filled with ease and gratitude for all the grace and goodness I have in life. And yet I know it could just as easily be the opposite.

In spring, in addition to pivoting private clients to on-line meetings, I offered on-line group yoga via Zoom to a small number of students a couple times a week. This quick alternative provided all of us with

  • social connection,
  • a sense of purpose,
  • regularity in schedule,
  • connectedness with the body, and
  • effective action to meet the stress of a virtual lockdown.

I didn’t offer too much group practice over the last couple of months because summer found me wanting to have the freedom to garden, hike, and practice for myself.

View from Eiffel Lake Trail toward Fay Glacier and Moraine Lake

At the end of July, instead of traveling to California for a ten-day silent retreat, the instructors offered a week-long virtual retreat with no silence required. There were differences from my experience of last year’s live event but I think I liked the on-line offering even better!

Some of the 30 or so participants in the July Advanced iRest Retreat, this year offered flawlessly on-line.
some of the 30 or so participants in the July Advanced iRest Retreat

Advantages to on-line yoga, meditation and spiritual direction are many.

  • Generally, the technology works pretty well.
  • No travel hassles or costs. So there is less fatigue. And less time expended due to not having to travel.
  • Use common items from your home as props and for comfort.
  • No social need to shower or fix yourself up beyond the basics. You can even use highly-scented products if you want and you won’t affect others!
  • If you are feeling grouchy or tired, you can choose to keep your interaction to a minimum.
  • You can turn off your camera if you don’t feel like being seen and your microphone if you don’t want to talk. These mean that you can cough, go to the bathroom or have a beverage or eat without disturbing others.
  • With exceptions, you may not have to resort to babysitters or pet care.
  • You can practice to your capacity if you are feeling unwell, without exposing others.
  • You will not be exposed to outside people who may be unwell.
  • No imposition on your personal space and vice versa.
  • On-line we can still chant and actively work with breath but during COVID-19 relaunch we couldn’t if we were together live.
  • Develop your own home practice through the process; incorporate the learning right into your life!

And there are a few downsides or extra effort involved in participating on-line. Here are some of them:

  • Occasionally the technology is splotchy on the receiving or sending end.
  • You may have to learn how to use the technology (although it is getting more intuitive all the time and there is lots of help available).
  • You need to determine how to configure a space for practice.
  • You may need to spend time experimenting with your computer / device so the camera captures your full figure (in the case of wanting feedback from the teacher).
  • You need a degree of privacy and quiet in your space.
  • You need to have even more respect for your physical, emotional and mental limits as the teacher is not as able to sense what is going on for you.
  • You may have to reign in your attention from distractions of home.

No Recording, for your privacy and comfort.

To honour privacy of participants, I largely have decided not to record Zoom offerings. However, do know that Zoom recordings only include the active screen which presenters can set up as only their own. I also ask students not to record audio, video or to screen shot anything that involves other students’ images, voice or text.

Ready to take the plunge?

So are you ready to join me?

I am planning gentle yoga / meditation classes

  • 10 – 11:30 Tue mornings and
  • 7:30 – 9 Wed evenings

Permanent link to this article: https://yoginsight.com/the-unlikely-yet-actual-gift-of-on-line-interactive-live-yoga/

Living in Not Knowing

Do we really know what will happen in the future?

Do we really have much, if any, control over outcomes?

How do we manage during times that are as turbulent as these?

Such perennial questions are just that: always appropriate. However, they are infinitely more prominent when uncertainty stares us in the face.

And yet, with passing years we have seen that seasons and weather patterns are not as reliable, even as forecasting tools have become more accurate. Wildlife migration patterns shift, and some species cease to be. Seemingly intractable rules of conduct wear down, diplomacy is not a given, solid relationships deteriorate, a dollar may no longer have value. History tells us that civilizations rise and fall. However, we find it challenging to accept this truth about our own context.

Yogis have long preached about the enduring nature of change and the mutability, or even illusion, of control. We intellectually know that something as gigantic and solid as a mountain is continually changing, yet we take for granted that it will be there the next time we look. The light of day follows the dark of night on a regular basis. Stars reliably show up in expected places in the night sky. 1+1 always equals 2.

We know that concern about uncertainty is reaching a fever pitch when a financially focused news magazine like Forbes published an article in January 2025 called, “Ride The Wave Of Uncertainty: How To Stay Calm And Keep Moving Forward.” The author’s 8-point plan* for dealing with “the ambiguity effect” is at once neuroscientific, psychological, and yogic. All of that, and more, is at work in an iRest-informed yoga session.

From my perspective, yoga is very much about being with, seeing through, and allowing ourselves to be transformed amid our very human propensity to look for enduring steadiness in that which is always changing and over which we have no control.

Perhaps you will join me and some others on-line this April? Or maybe meet with me one-on-one?

*1) Mindfulness, 2) Challenge Negative Thoughts, 3) Strengthen Emotional Boundaries, 4) Build Certainty With Simple Routines, 5) Take Small, Meaningful Actions, 6) Active Listening, 7) Validate Others’ Feelings, 8) Surround Yourself With Supportive People

Permanent link to this article: https://yoginsight.com/living-in-not-knowing/

Some Musings About Feet

Feet.

Seems that we can’t live without them.

With the pain and dysfunction that may accompany age, misuse, and/or injury, it may feel like we like we can’t live with them.

It occurs to me that we can live without functioning feet. All we need do is ask the multitude of people who do just that – those who were born without the use of their feet and those who have lost either the physical form or the functionality of their feet altogether.

But most of us would prefer to live with the benefits feet afford us.

The foot’s primary purpose is to get us between point A and point B. That ambulation may be desirable for completing tasks like housework, getting to and from work, doing chores, or completing employment activities. We also move from point A to B for leisure, such scenic walking or trekking or getting to the concert seats. Additionally, we use our feet to undertake a multitude of fitness activities, be they intentional or incidental.

Feet are also rife with nerve endings, as reflexologists know, but not with circulation which is part of why many find recovery from foot surgeries to take a long time. In the sensory-motor cortex of the brain, feet take up a lot of real estate, speaking to how important they are. An interesting tidbit: this foot area in the brain is directly adjacent to that for the genitals, which might at least partially explain the foot-fetish phenomenon.

Obviously, those of us who have functioning, pain-free feet take them entirely for granted.

Until we don’t.

We take functioning, pain-free feet entirely for granted . . . until we get don’t.

As a yoga therapist, I’m trained to watch folk’s gait and look at their feet with an informed eye. I see all kinds of pain and dysfunction. And when it isn’t already there, I can predict with reasonable accuracy who will have what kind of muscular-skeletal problem, and where it will manifest, be that in the foot itself, or elsewhere. I generally only share such observations when someone asks for help with something to which it pertains. And then there are issues with reduced circulation and nerve damage which we might expect given other disease processes or treatment protocols. . .

Something I do as a matter of course is encourage people to be grateful for their well-functioning body parts and not take them for granted. Feet are high on my list of body-part gratitude practices. Not having the use of pain-free and properly-operating feet is a substantial disability.

Feet are high on my list of body-part gratitude practices.

Toward promoting appreciation of feet, I’ll share my foot story. No need to continue reading if you’re not interested.

As a young 20-something, I strained a foot during my first day on the job. It was not a physically demanding job. I cannot remember whether the strain happened on the day we had to walk to the convention centre for the CEO’s state-of-the-company address or the fire-alarm day during which I had to descend 20+ floors using the stairs. On both occasions I was wearing my 80s power suit accessorized with 3-inch heels, my regular practice in those days. When my doc bluntly told me to stop wearing heels, I was aghast! Never! I think it was around then when the doc prescribed some custom orthotics, too. I did have them made, but they didn’t fit well into the high-heeled shoes that I wanted to wear so they mostly went unused.

Since then, I don’t remember having foot issues until relatively recently. Starting in my early 30s, I had a regular hatha yoga practice. I suspect the Iyengar school’s emphasis on long-holds and strict alignment did my feet a world of good. They became stronger, more supple, and better aligned. A non-athletic person to that point, I began being more active in the aftermath of my mother’s premature death, too. I naturally became less interested wearing shoes for fashion. But I was demanding more of my feet in other ways, like hiking and going to the gym.

I naturally became less interested wearing shoes for fashion.

There was a period in my mid-40s when I started having some knee misalignment and pain. The precipitating event was walking a substantial distance while wearing some ill-fitting footwear with moderate heels. At the end of that trip, I could feel shin splints developing. The pain, especially on steep downhill slopes, was horrifying in that I imagined no longer being able to scale mountains to their peaks because I would be unable to descend. Besides the problematic shoes, the hormonal shifts of menopause probably didn’t help (I have come to understand that connective tissue ages rapidly in the absence of estrogen). It took about a year of various rehabilitation efforts before my knee was pain-free again. My implicated feet themselves hadn’t been hurting.

Then, when I was about 55, I broke my big toe stubbing it hard on some piece of furniture. I had broken toes before, with no long-term consequences. This time, as usual, I simply powered through the discomfort and inconvenience. Although it was winter, I mostly got around with thick socks in Birkenstocks. Uggs with YakTrax (overlaid traction devices), although incredibly ugly and embarrassing, sufficed for hiking.

The toe mostly didn’t bother me by the time the weather was warmer. That is, it didn’t bother me too much until I went to a yoga festival and took part in three very active yoga sessions in about five hours. That toe joint and adjoining area were painful and red and hot and swollen. I could barely walk. And although that subsided, I increasingly found myself suffering greatly with similar symptoms and for longish time periods (that is, I could barely walk for a week!) after strenuous physical activity. As well, my knee was increasingly unhappy.

My medical practitioner was unconcerned for over two years, despite my bringing the issue forward more than once. He said, “Enjoy your exercise.” I wanted to enjoy my exercise but increasingly I was finding it too painful for too long.

Finally and fortunately, a resident listened and looked and saw that an x-ray was in order. The diagnosis was end-stage hallux rigidus (bone-on-bone osteoarthritis in the base of the big toe), with no signs of arthritis elsewhere. Not a great prognosis; there is no reversal of such a thing. The podiatrist told me that most conservative measure was to wear a custom orthotic 80 percent of waking time to prevent the toe from extending. Along with orthotics, he thought a rocker shoe, such as HokaOneOne, would be the best to prevent any undue pressure on that joint. The next treatment was to undergo periodic steroid injections to keep inflammation and pain in check. And finally, he told me of three types of surgery. For my active lifestyle and stage 4 joint disease, he recommended fusion, sooner rather than later due to increasing age compromising proper healing in women due to decreased bone density. Luckily, bone density scans do not show that I have such a problem. But that could change.

Being the natural-healing advocate that I am, I opted to try the orthotic and rocker shoes, or rather, rocker hiking boots. The HokaOneOne hiking boots that I selected after trying on a multitude of different styles, looking something like what astronauts would wear on the moon, have lasted all this time, while I am on my second set of orthotics. The combination of orthotics and these rockers has been phenomenal. Although long hikes with lots of elevation will aggravate my toe somewhat, recovery time is reasonable. My knee feels better, too. So far, I have not had to resort to steroid shots or surgery.

I do not wear my orthotics 80 percent or even much of the time. I am a yoga professional, after all and y’all know we largely go barefoot. But I have had to adjust my yoga practice so that it doesn’t compromise the metatarsophalangeal joint. Lunges and planks are probably the most obvious. The podiatrist jokingly pointed out that adjusted poses require more from the core and large muscles of the limbs. I don’t avoid such poses. The rest of the toes of that foot don’t really get that extension movement, either. So, I make a point of using props like Yamuna Foot Savers to work on foot mobility as an additional practice.

It helps that I don’t spend much time in classes that other yoga teachers are leading. They tend to try to “fix” poses folks aren’t performing in the typical way. This is one of the ways in which yoga therapy differs from yoga instruction. In fact, my listening and being aware of the need to adapt yoga to the person is why many of my clients come to me.

The point of telling you this long story? There’s more than one point.

First, appreciate your feet. Secondly, while you can, work on getting them stronger, more supple, and as aligned as possible when static so you don’t have to think about them when you’re moving. Third, adjust for your changing feet (and other body parts, and brain, and emotions). Don’t give up.

Appreciate your feet.

Get them stronger, more supple, and aligned when static so you don’t have to think about them when you’re moving.

Adjust for your changing feet.

Don’t give up.

Activity is incredibly important to our aging well. We want to help our bodies stay active, not stay active at the expense of our bodies.

Yoga can be so very good. But sometimes it is better than others. For instance, some types of yoga focus a lot on the feet and in others, feet are just an afterthought. If you are taking part in the latter, you may want to consider some cross-training with the former. And know that poses don’t have to “look like the picture.”

You’ll want to consider what you’re trying to accomplish with a given yoga posture or movement and then adapt it to what your feet and other parts of you can reasonably do. Sounds simple. And it is. Just not necessarily easy.

Sounds simple. And it is. Just not necessarily easy.

Permanent link to this article: https://yoginsight.com/some-musings-about-feet/